okay pat passed out under dana's car
I CAN MOONWALK!
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
