I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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