Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
