Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
