love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
