I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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