O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize