she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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