Kiss
Puke
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
