Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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