Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
