i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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