i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
