I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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