i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
