so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize