If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
