I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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