Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
