Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
