hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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