covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize