I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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