the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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