I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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