I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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