I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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