Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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