there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
