Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
