also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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