if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
