please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
