we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
