so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
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You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
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is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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