are you so shy because you have an std?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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