Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
NoShamevember. You game?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
