I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize