I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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