Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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