..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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