Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
