no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
