this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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