If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
