Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Buhtt sex?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
