Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
