I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
