I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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