I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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