Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
