the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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