Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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