i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
