I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
