Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
