You're a womanizer and a bitch.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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