kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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