She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
