The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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