I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
