You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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