what day is it and did you see me today?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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