I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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