1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize